I don’t understand because when you shook my hand I saw a flash in your eyes that looked like waking up but was probably just the stars reflecting off the sky
I don’t understand because when we started talking you crouched down to my ground seated level so that your stars were staring straight at mine I don’t understand because I could feel you from every point of the crowded room and when you left the air felt dead and I just wanted to feel your sting again You like poetry and you respond to my messages I don’t understand because when you sauntered towards me on the platform by the C I felt small and nervous when you flashed a big smile I don’t understand because we couldn’t stop talking until we were forced to stop talking and started to listen and I wanted to reach out and touch I don’t understand because when it was over it was really over and you seemed sad to let me step off that train I don’t understand because I didn’t hear from you and had to ask where you were and when I finally found you the stars had gone out of your eye or the shades were pulled down over the light and we shared the most awkward hug Until you turned away I don’t understand because I didn’t feel like staying to say goodbye so I just left you there I don’t understand because you said it was nice to have made my acquaintance when what I wanted you to say was “can I see you again right now or tomorrow” I don’t understand because I slipped so far so fast Make up a life for everyone I see or I meet and nobody is making up a life for me I don’t understand because all I’m sensing is distance when there wasn’t even any closeness to fill it with in the first place I could share this with you but who want to put themselves out on a rafts that’s going nowhere I ‘d rather climb into the lake sink to the bottom and live in my dreams Power rests in waiting for them holding breath believing in them
Grinding bones straying thoughts trying hard to think of anything but them Body of body layered waiting for them Setting free falling still falling for them Waiting for the crash Cracking skull fracturing stone bottom of it all Sparkle mist that consumes our secrets takes faces we long to touch with it Bait and hook me I will pull that sucker out and watch you speed boat off into the distance You won’t look back My thrashing your only reminder One more swan dive of attention and the sunset swallows me whole Was that the glint of you eye or just the reflectors picking up the last light of day as I sink… Goodbye Summer 2014 |
P.L.DI write because my emotions are not, always, accessible. I write because sometimes I’m confused and I need to work things out. I write because it feels good. I often write to keep from saying too much. .. Archives
June 2015
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