Give us something to scream about
Hand us a plate to break over your head Make up a word we can spit at you Show up and break our heart But don’t you dare forget about us Don’t you get caught in your life Don’t think you can blend back in You tricked us We unabashedly trusted you Fell for you Cried for you Dreamed with you Overlooked your power Didn’t see you coming Until you fell past us out of reach Show up and break our heart Don’t you slip away in the night Don’t you dare Fall 2012 It woke me up
Switch my eyes open I will remember that choice Need to purge myself Tell you Say it to you Even if it would be a year before you heard me I vomit My life in these lines My body My heart That you chipped Didn’t expect that years later I would still be falling Crashing through what I thought was rock bottom Something solid to stand on Build from Didn’t know that you would look for me That after filling myself over and over I would pepper your marble heart Your hidden self in lime stone Always waiting inside Still recovering Still forgiving Still waiting for you to find another Way to chip until I come out your own Spring 2012 We were titans for a weekend
We found ourselves Expanding In wide opened spaces Cold air filling lungs Compressed from city Smoke And Long starved dreams We were titans for a weekend Golden palaces as we Snuffed Out our enemys We laughed Drank deep to their health Found dark corner to steal kisses and trouble From each other’s bodies Memories as we shrink back into our human Skin Surroundings close in Space deepens; I no longer feel your pulse vibrate at the corner of my lifeline We are not those Kings and Queens We climb our attic stairs and put ourselves in High rise boxes Brace And Shrink Against cold Remembering when gold rained down like water Winter 2014 When
The phone rings that morning do not anticipate Pretend to be asleep Ignore the whispers Think about the morning run on the beach Afternoon boat trip Enjoy this life for a few more moments When you are eating cereal look outside Remember the sun, the sea Breathe When you got up that morning you smiled You will smile again When you are told to call mum Do not ignore the panic Respect it This time it is real Let the phone ring Listen to what mum says Do not ask too many questions When you arrive at the airport Let your brother hug you You are going to need that hug You will remember that hug Thank the man for the Dunkin Doughnuts napkin When you get to the hospital Breathe Try not to forget your shoe in the car you will not find it again When they lead you in and you see him Laid out Too big for the small room A beached whale on white sand Try not to faint Dizziness is normal In the months to come Visit him even if you are afraid It gets better Easier Hold your mum and brother in the kitchen Cry It has to go somewhere Do not be alarmed if you do not cry for a long while after that Or if months later you can not remember going to school Know that you will be all right no matter what happens Thank god Even if you do not go to church Thank someone You still have your Dad See the concrete evidence of luck How easy things are lost Mourn what was lost And be patient Never stop searching for who he is now Summer 2013 Instinct told me 2am start was off for a 7 hour hike
Instinct told me jeans t-shirt baseball cap sneakers would not keep off the mountain chill or beating sun Instinct told me you were under prepared incorrectly informed kept my feet on the ground I went shopping with the girls It did not tell me to keep your hand around my waist your laugh in my ears Instinct told me I was not going to hear from you by noon to breathe to keep the rolling thunder looming storm system from my mind that by evening this would all be over the car would pull up you would all have beers and stories Breath kept me calm as doors slammed only two bodies slid out Imagination drove me to the edge forced my legs to move few words in crisis pulling finite necessary details Imagination dreading the next hours sick to my stomach waiting waiting Need filling my alarm system action filling my bones Instinct told me Rounding the bend I saw one two you Head bowed 'Approach with caution' Instinct extended water Summer 2013 |
P.L.DI write because my emotions are not, always, accessible. I write because sometimes I’m confused and I need to work things out. I write because it feels good. I often write to keep from saying too much. .. Archives
June 2015
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