When
The phone rings that morning do not anticipate
Pretend to be asleep
Ignore the whispers
Think about the morning run on the beach
Afternoon boat trip
Enjoy this life for a few more moments
When you are eating cereal look outside
Remember the sun, the sea
Breathe
When you got up that morning you smiled
You will smile again
When you are told to call mum
Do not ignore the panic
Respect it
This time it is real
Let the phone ring
Listen to what mum says
Do not ask too many questions
When you arrive at the airport
Let your brother hug you
You are going to need that hug
You will remember that hug
Thank the man for the Dunkin Doughnuts napkin
When you get to the hospital
Breathe
Try not to forget your shoe in the car you will not find it again
When they lead you in and you see him
Laid out
Too big for the small room
A beached whale on white sand
Try not to faint
Dizziness is normal
In the months to come
Visit him even if you are afraid
It gets better
Easier
Hold your mum and brother in the kitchen
Cry
It has to go somewhere
Do not be alarmed if you do not cry for a long while after that
Or if months later you can not remember going to school
Know that you will be all right no matter what happens
Thank god
Even if you do not go to church
Thank someone
You still have your Dad
See the concrete evidence of luck
How easy things are lost
Mourn what was lost
And be patient
Never stop searching for who he is now
Summer 2013
The phone rings that morning do not anticipate
Pretend to be asleep
Ignore the whispers
Think about the morning run on the beach
Afternoon boat trip
Enjoy this life for a few more moments
When you are eating cereal look outside
Remember the sun, the sea
Breathe
When you got up that morning you smiled
You will smile again
When you are told to call mum
Do not ignore the panic
Respect it
This time it is real
Let the phone ring
Listen to what mum says
Do not ask too many questions
When you arrive at the airport
Let your brother hug you
You are going to need that hug
You will remember that hug
Thank the man for the Dunkin Doughnuts napkin
When you get to the hospital
Breathe
Try not to forget your shoe in the car you will not find it again
When they lead you in and you see him
Laid out
Too big for the small room
A beached whale on white sand
Try not to faint
Dizziness is normal
In the months to come
Visit him even if you are afraid
It gets better
Easier
Hold your mum and brother in the kitchen
Cry
It has to go somewhere
Do not be alarmed if you do not cry for a long while after that
Or if months later you can not remember going to school
Know that you will be all right no matter what happens
Thank god
Even if you do not go to church
Thank someone
You still have your Dad
See the concrete evidence of luck
How easy things are lost
Mourn what was lost
And be patient
Never stop searching for who he is now
Summer 2013