I have big dreams. I have big dreams that touch the sky. Life; a series of trains that left the stations and never came back on a return trip. Opportunities that went to somebody else and men that I still have hope will ask me out for a drink. Its evenings like this one, the rare occasion that I let myself curl up under the quilt I got in high school to feel the stillness.
Fill my days; run from the moment it all catches up with me so I can realize how much I want. Feels good, right? Wanting. Too good?
Pretend it’s not a problem, pretend I am strong, I can wait, it will happen, it is fine, it doesn’t make sense; working myself in circles. Labyrinth wall around me until its nights like these when I can feel it vibrating from my toes to short hair how bad I want and it scares. Wanting. Right?
Then I have something to cry about. Then it might be time to get angry. Risks might be taken. Mistakes might be make.
Can I be brave?
Look to that day with no regrets, when I can look back and say, “Yeah I did alright”.
Winter 2014
Fill my days; run from the moment it all catches up with me so I can realize how much I want. Feels good, right? Wanting. Too good?
Pretend it’s not a problem, pretend I am strong, I can wait, it will happen, it is fine, it doesn’t make sense; working myself in circles. Labyrinth wall around me until its nights like these when I can feel it vibrating from my toes to short hair how bad I want and it scares. Wanting. Right?
Then I have something to cry about. Then it might be time to get angry. Risks might be taken. Mistakes might be make.
Can I be brave?
Look to that day with no regrets, when I can look back and say, “Yeah I did alright”.
Winter 2014